Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Layoffs Have Hit My Computer Keyboard

I have been getting a lot of comments lately about the number of typos interspersed around my blog. Specifically, I am responding to an email from a “mrmizzquote,” who claims that his 8 year-old Ball Python, named “Monty,” could string together better sentences on an obsolete Apple II. “Oooh, how scary…floppy discs! Thems fightin’ words mrmiz!”

As I read the rant, I wondered the following three things: first, would this person put a heart over the “i” instead of a dot when writing out his screen name long hand; second, did he realize that the mere mention of Apple II had me envisioning him as the grown up version of the kid from the Encyclopedia Brittanica informercials ; and third, could he be a bit more original than naming the python Monty? Besides, doesn’t he know that snakes can’t type, as they “have NO BLOODY APPENDAGES!”

Back to my keyboarding issues, I stand by the content as grammatically sound…but yeah, my typing pretty much sucks. It doesn’t help that the “v” key and the “space bar” have been pink slipped due to keyboard layoffs. Not intentionally, but by the brute force of my 5 year-old, who starting picking the letter keys off my laptop like chicklets because he was “bored.” My husband, on the other hand, believes this action is really a thinly disguised smoke screen to somehow hijack his big sister’s Nintendo DS (which, btw, she ended up buying for herself with birthday money, instead of the Snuggie). Regardless the motive, the “s” and “g” keys are hanging on precariously, so I think I’ll have to get all my shits and giggles on the matter out now. Losing the space bar wasn’t much of a blow, believe it or not, but I think it may somehow be contributing to the number of times I have been typing "bitch" lately....However, not having “v” has also greatly cut down on my use of the word vagina…or as they say in France, “c’est la v!”

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