It's a Mad, Mad Maverick's World!

The Minivan Monologues is proud to present exclusive excerpts from Sarah Palin's much anticipated autobiography, "Going Commando." (Oops, my bad, "Going Rogue")

Chapter One: Humble Beginnings

"Come and listen to a story about a man named Jed. A poor mountaineer, barely kept his family fed. Then one day he was shootin' at some food and up through the ground came a bubblin' crude. Oil that is. Black Gold. Alaskan Tea. "

Chapter Two: Growing Alaskan Roots

"Well, the first thing you know it ol' Jed's a millionaire. Kinfolk said, 'Jed move away from there.' Said, 'Californy is the place you ought to be.' So, they loaded up the truck and moved to Beverly."

Chapter Three: The Veep Vetting Process

Hmmm...me thinks this story sounds vaguely familiar???

Where have you gone, Jethro Clampett,....I mean, Levi Johnston? Special interest groups and aerial bow hunters turn their lonely eyes to you....woo woo woo. Ellie Mae? Tripp? Trig? Track? Tuna Fish? Tonto? Tattoo? ....Are you there?....I think they all saw Hurricane Sarah comin', threw their shit in Fred Sanford's truck and "moved on up" to Green Acres. Amen!

The End.