So Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansen are divorcing after 2 years of marriage....I mean come on....Really? I admit, my first thought was "whatever..." but then I thought about it and just got mad! Two years of marriage and now divorce! Really?
Two years of marriage, in terms of a lifetime together, is metaphorically, a rain drop in the ocean. Ryan and Scarlett, you bailed without even trying to figure the whole marriage thing out...It's the equivolent of standing on the customer service line at Walmart for 45 minutes for a return, then deciding to say "Fuck It!" and leave just as you make it to the cashier.
Marriage is hard. Relationships are hard. It all needs constant work and attention and revising. But that's life. Isn't that what most of us signed on for? Aren't we in it for the long haul? Believe me, after 13 years of marriage, I know, the whole experience ain't for wimps!
No one tells you about how you will fall in and out of love with a spouse, then passionately back in again. No one tells you there'll be times when you feel your pulling all the weight, or that you'll be so overwhelmed you want to pull the covers over your head and give up.
No one tells you that for every great day together, there
will be two that will bring adversity and challenge. No one tells you how to deal with in-laws or jealously or illness.
Or that you need to hold tight to the history you share as a couple, because those memories will keep you sane, keep you grounded, keep you in each others arms.
Almost anything you purchase comes with insructions....an owner's manual. Why isn't there one for marriage? Somewhere along the way we've all bought into this Hollywoodized version that neatly ties up relationships with a witty "meet cute" and a white pickett ending.
In reality, there is nothing neat about it. Spousal relationships are raw and visceral...like make-up sex. The answers lie hidden in the stolen moments, when you lie in bed together intertwined....just hold on and breathe.
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To My Sons,
1 week ago